Decision has been made

A decision has been made
Courage needed to follow it through
Focus and discipline too

Fear of what lies ahead
Getting over it and healing
It wont be easy

Let go of the past
It will set me free
To create a better future

Have fun being miserable
What a stupid thing to be doing
How silly can one get

Life spiraling downhill out of control
Do something about it before it explodes
Before everything is lost

The choice is a painful one to make
Necessary in order to move on
Support will be there

Give me the courage and strength to see it through

The brain and the heart

The brain and the heart are in strong conflict
Both pulling each other
Now standing still
Unsure of what to do and what next

Just do something already
Focus out
Countless encouragement and support
Jolts and slaps given

Sleepy and sluggish
Where did the passion go
Move, shift
Remember what is important

Be grateful
Time and opportunity once gone
Never return
Live life to the fullest at every moment

Reflection - Lyrics from Mulan

How apt ...

Look at me
You may think you see
Who I really am
But you'll never know me
Every day
It's as if I play a part
Now I see
If I wear a mask
I can fool the world
But I cannot fool my heart

Who is that girl I see
Staring straight back at me?
When will my reflection show
Who I am inside?

I am now
In a world where I
Have to hide my heart
And what I believe in
But somehow
I will show the world
What's inside my heart
And be loved for who I am

Who is that girl I see
Staring straight back at me?
Why is my reflection
Someone I don't know?
Must I pretend that I'm
Someone else for all time?
When will my reflection show
Who I am inside?

There's a heart that must be
Free to fly
That burns with a need to know
The reason why

Why must we all conceal
What we think, how we feel?
Must there be a secret me
I'm forced to hide?
I won't pretend that I'm
Someone else for all time
When will my reflection show
Who I am inside?
When will my reflection show
Who I am inside?

Important

What is important in life
How does one decide
What are the priorities

Friends have stood by
Knocked sense
Given tremendous support

This has helped greatly
Given courage and strength to snap out of it
Moving on now

It may be tough
It may be painful
I am choosing this path

After all what is important
Nothing will get in my way
I will accomplish my goals

Decisions

What do I do now
Do I make a decision
I know what I need to do
A bigger question will be do I want to do it

Mind over matter
I am tired
Just let go
Why am I holding on so tightly

I know I am capable of doing what I want
I just have to want it
I can overcome this
I can do it

Keep moving
Dont remain at the same position
As nothing will change
Take that step and move

I am almost there
Just a little more
The finishing line is so close
Encouragement and support nearby

I will cross that line
Trust myself
I wont know how far I can go
Just do it

Reality

How does one get over pain and hurt
By occupying oneself with many activities
Does it really work

Never felt this way before
Never knew such emotions exist
Exhaustion soon takes over

Does time really fly by
Each second seems to take forever
Wishing it was already the future

Will the future be better and brighter
Will the letting go be complete
How near is the future

It was so apparent to others
Except oneself
How obtuse can one get

There was a time when things were all right
It was good during those days
When all was normal

The green monster came
A major shakeup occurred
Led to oneself to truly realize, face up and acknowledge the reality

How excruciating it has been
For the delusion was so strong
The wound will heal

Challenge

Fear
Is all in the mind
Overcoming all obstacles
The mind once said "Impossible"

Having gone through the journey
Although only a few small steps into it
What have I created
What have I become

The me I know perhaps is not real
For deep down, the true me is screaming to come out
Will I be accepted for who I really am
I certainly hope so

I am exhausted
The journey appears to be long and challenging
What if I fail and never see the light
A voice tells me I can overcome this challenge

Life
Tends to make a mockery
An oxymoron that a robot can feel
How amusing

Do I have a mind
Does my mind have me
What is the answer, my friend
Who knows

Moving on

The past is history
Time to move on
Be present
To create a better future

The sun shines through
A glimmer of hope
Encouragement and support
Given unconditionally

Learn from the mistake of yesterday
And do not repeat them
For it will get better
Time moves along

The road will be tough
No matter how
This can be done
The light at the end of the tunnel is within reach

Time stands still

I absolutely love the contrast of this against the backdrop of a busy Chicago city. Serenity so unbelievable.

Letting go

Tears start falling again
Emptiness prevails
Hopelessness ensues

Letting go
Some find it easy
Others find it tough

Happiness in living in the past
The mind conjures a past that never was
How powerful the mind can be

Caring
Has brought happiness and pain
Pain the only feeling right now

The wall is building up faster than ever before
Nobody shall get through this wall anymore
Enough of letting the heart feel

Life without the heart was less complicated
Being numb with a couldn't care less attitude was easier
Nobody has to know

Moving forward as emotionless
Everything about the past is dead and never existed
The chapter is closed and never to be opened again

Using logic and the brain
Switching off the heart for good
This is the life that works best for some

Light - maybe?

Caring , about the people around me
Rejection, something I have yet to handle
Disappointment, came along.

Why do I even try
Why do I even bother
After all, they didnt give a damn.

Tiredness and frustration sets in
What is the big picture
What does this mean for me

A new day has arrived
Things will change for the better
I can make that happen

Keep moving and trying again
Success comes after repeated failure, someone once told me
A long road lies ahead

Do I give up
Do I press on
Only time will tell

Furor

Frustration, anger
Raging within me
Common sense prevails
I fear not

Stupidity
Lack of logic
Following rules blindly because
I was asked to follow a procedure

Breathe
For the moment will pass
The anger will subside
And all will be well again

Maybe ...

Anguish

Have never cried so much
Didn’t know there were so much tears
Didn’t know there was much pain and hurt

Day after day, the tears keep falling
When will it end
Will it even end

Despite the brave front, the pain deep down is too much to bear
Crying in solitude to handle the agony
Only few know

Moments of joy have been long gone
Darkness and sorrow
Someday, the sun will shine through

Swinging from pain to anger
From love to hate
The robot now feels

Didn’t know the heart existed