Question

It's scary that this question has come up several times for me ... Are we okay? I am so afraid that the past will repeat ....

Fun night

Had tonnes of fun last night. Had received several compliments too ... 001 kept emphasizing as well.

My life story is that
- I need to believe that I am capable of doing things and getting there
- I just need to put in a bit of extra effort and to be bothered and to care. What I will then achieve is beyond my wildest dreams
- My only limitation is myself

I need to work on these areas.

Are we okay

I remembered asking this questions with you "Are we okay?" ... I'd silently asked this question recently too. Perhaps I know what it means and I know what I need to do. I may not be facing up to reality that if I ignore the signs, I am walking down the painful past. I need to be in better control.

Catch up

It was nice catching up with you that day. Somehow, you felt more like a friend that day. I don't know. Maybe I've let go of the past. Maybe there is a replacement. I am concerned if there is a replacement cos I think history will repeat itself. I don't know.

Hope she's okay

I hope she's okay. I think she's a bit stunned. Or perhaps it's my perception of things. Things seem so formal. Must talk to her for awhile SOON if not, it's an unnecessary strain on the relationship. At least, that's what I feel.

Today ...

Today was the day when tears fell ... Am so exhausted from work. Am really sick and tired of it all. Am this close to calling it quits!! Am at a stage whereby whatever already. I don't care anymore. Am so so tired.

I need to talk to her too ... Am cracking my head such that it comes out to be more of motivational ... I just feel like giving a piece of my mind though .. I wasn't like that last year. Am frustrated with the series of mini events.

I need to focus on the big picture as the big picture is good ... Just some minor blemishes ...

I wanna freaking quit

ARGH !!!!

I just want to freaking quit ... I don't care anymore. I really don't give a freaking damn.

Each time, the source of the pain is the same. Shouldn't the source be removed then? I am so sick and tired of doing this, time and again, and to go through the cycle each time. I am really sick and tired of this.

Why do I want to hold on? What are my alternatives? Am I too afraid to explore?

I just don't want to do this anymore.