Good things that have happened today

I need to be reminded of the wonderful things in my life.

I do enjoy my main work :) It's just some other non-IT work that I truly do not enjoy at all.

I was really touched when she had helped me with my bike 2x. She was also encouraging & motivating me as it went along. Really nice of her. Somehow she seemed to notice when I tend to switch off or am struggling. Do we have a better connection now as compared to the past?

I do wish I could talk to her longer.

It was really nice today. This is another option for consideration. It was highly enjoyable !! :)

BC Today

Am really glad that I'd gone for class today , even though it wasn't the usual trainer.

As she had mentioned who the cover was gonna be, I'd gone. I'd attended her lesson before & had thoroughly enjoyed it!

Other than her encouraging us by saying "Come on team!", I like her British/Cockney accent. I find her to be clear as well & she does give about 150%.

Of course, the one is still the best.
My gut feel is that education level wise, may not be high or sthg, unlike the cover. The cover somehow carries some form of high level intellect.

I find the cover's lesson to be at a more comfortable pace for me.

What I'd enjoyed about today's lesson
- the nice accent :)
- the encouragement as a team :)
- great instructor
- even though it wasn't the one, I was able to spur myself on by screaming in my head to give more. I'd place aside the fatigue & just gave it my all, whilst screaming in my head.

I had truly enjoyed today's lesson tremendously ! :)

Reflection I

I have learnt many useful anecdotes thru my gym class.

- Paint the analogy of flat road, climb (how steep, how far, how long), what it will be like at the top, flat road, climb, downhill (to relax), flat road, climb, flat road home
- Promise a break after a tough ride . What will the break look like or be? How long is the break?
- deliver on the promise
- what are the benefits of the tough ride? Why ride with me?
- be a coach - don't think. Just do it
- ask yourself "why are u here?" why are u here at this instance, this moment?
- be sincere
- be real
- show that I too acknowledge the hardship & together with you, despite the hardship, I will ride out the storm
- together as a team, we can achieve great things, beyond our wildest dreams
- dream big
- BHAG : big, hairy, audacious goal
- don't pretend to be strong. Don't hide behind the wall of challenges & pretend to be superman, to be so capable of overcoming it so easily. Let them know that I too am having difficulties. I too am human after all. Despite the difficulties & challenges, I will overcome them one at a time. Break the challenges into small pieces.
- break the challenges into small pieces
- I promise you that I will give u my best & that I will do my best.
- Let's work together to achieve beyond our wildest dreams
- Ride with me on this journey
- Be real. Be sincere. Let it come from the heart. Show my vulnerable side. The one who is strong is one who is brave to show the vulnerable side. Feel. Don't numb myself.
- Be mentally strong. Be resilient.
- Slowly build that mental strength

Note to self
- a relationship is 2-way
- if the other person doesn't want to ride with me, if the values differ, I must be prepared to let go
- can values change? Can the inner/core value change?
- no point forcing the other person to ride with me as it will then be a painful journey
- moving forward, my blog will be on my reflection after the gym session
- a person who is courageous is one who acts despite the fear. Courage is NOT lack of fear.
- it's time for me to put all these into action & take it from there & grow.

On Monday

I look forward to letting them know on Monday. I do feel a sense of relief on my part as there is no way I can continue like that any longer. I will die standing if things don't change.

Even though, I look forward to it, I feel a tinge of sadness. Having said that, I feel mainly happy as it will be 1 less thing for me.

I want to implement more things and with this, it will be possible.

I have found the answer as to why I am here - I want to change how things are currently being done. I would like to actualize my dream of the future - of how things should be. I need to keep on focusing on that.

I just hope that Monday will go well.

Good things for today

What am I grateful for today?

So many things have gone wrong ... I am not present. I feel dead inside. Inside even fatigue. Rather, it's being dead inside.

Where is that silver lining?

At least, I have food to eat for dinner.

At least, I had handled a few roster stuff.

2012

2012 has begun.

It has been a strange start to the year. I feel like I am in a daze more often that not. If not, I just feel like I am just going through the motion.

It feels like I have not answered the question "Why am I here?" I feel lost. I don't know what to do.

2 weeks have now passed. I feel like I have accomplished nothing in the past year. Yes, there were some here and there but it's not what I want.

What do I want to achieve? What do I want to push for? I feel lost.

I am now in a phase whereby "Whatever ... Just do whatever you want already."

A part of me wants to have a screaming/shouting match with you, I should no longer bottle it inside. It feels like crap to pretend that nothing existed, cos it was something to me. It was a great deal to me. Yet to you, it was nothing at all. For that, it still hurts. I need to get over this. I need to look through you, each time I run into you.

Holidays in Dec 2011

The holidays in Dec 2011 were great. I feel truly blessed to have gone on this holiday .... 
1) The weather was perfect. 
2) Didn't go to Liege, which had witnessed an unfortunate shooting event. 
3) I had gone to Neuschwanstein Castle, which was on my calendar in my room for Dec 2011. I had always wanted to go to the places in my calendar and I finally had a chance to do so. And it was truly by chance too ! 
4) I was able to go on a long holiday with much peace as I had truly wonderful covers at work. 


I feel truly grateful ! 


It was been an excellent holiday ! :)