What does it mean

Oh dear ... What does it mean? I hope my greatest fears will not become a reality. I have had too many of that happening of late. My dreams going up in smoke ... I do hope it is not what I think it may be. And if it is, then what?

When I imagine it to be what I think it may be, tears well up in my eyes. I don't think I can survive it. I cannot imagine it. Not at all.

AARGGHH !! I should not have read it. I should not have read it. I do hope it gets clearer soon.

If it really does come true, I will respect the decision. I will still be upset and sad though. I would be lost to be honest. I can feel the pain once again. Why is the heart getting louder than the brain nowadays?

I hope and pray that it is not what I think ... Please ... Please ... There must be another way out ...