Good things for today

What am I grateful for today?

So many things have gone wrong ... I am not present. I feel dead inside. Inside even fatigue. Rather, it's being dead inside.

Where is that silver lining?

At least, I have food to eat for dinner.

At least, I had handled a few roster stuff.

2012

2012 has begun.

It has been a strange start to the year. I feel like I am in a daze more often that not. If not, I just feel like I am just going through the motion.

It feels like I have not answered the question "Why am I here?" I feel lost. I don't know what to do.

2 weeks have now passed. I feel like I have accomplished nothing in the past year. Yes, there were some here and there but it's not what I want.

What do I want to achieve? What do I want to push for? I feel lost.

I am now in a phase whereby "Whatever ... Just do whatever you want already."

A part of me wants to have a screaming/shouting match with you, I should no longer bottle it inside. It feels like crap to pretend that nothing existed, cos it was something to me. It was a great deal to me. Yet to you, it was nothing at all. For that, it still hurts. I need to get over this. I need to look through you, each time I run into you.