Happiness

I'd experienced happiness today. Of a different kind that is. It was nice to be able to put on clothes that were bought way back and they were tight then. Now I can not only easily fit into them but they're also loose. Yay!

I am also glad I can fit into the GAP pants that I'd bought from the US. I remembered that you'd smacked me when I'd said that I'd not even used them. I hope yours are still ok.

I feel like I can handle it and want to meet up with you already. I know having said that it is not time yet. Sigh.

I hope you are doing fine.

Vicious cycle

It starts of as being angry, so angry up to the point of being explosive. After anger, the yearnings begin. I wish you were here. I miss you. How many times will this record be playing over and over again. I am really tired of this cycle. I do not need this any more. I just want peace and stability within me. I need that.

It is tiring to have to go through the ups and downs again.

Fun

It was fun last night. Caught up with a few friends.

It was also good having a dear friend around. It was like the good old days.

Though there have been many changes, I know that this friendship is as solid as a rock. It has been through rough times but it stayed strong. For that, I am thankful.

You are so far away

You are so far away metaphorically.

I can't believe that I am still so upset with what has happened over the last weekend. I really need to get it out of the system. A part of me wished I didn't see what I had to see. I know I vaguely saw and it was minimal on Saturday. It was however enough to trigger a HUGE reaction from me.

What I heard on Monday was even more devastating. I was shattered when I heard that. It was enough to push me over the edge to declare you completely out of my life.

I am so tired of this cycle of being angry, and then being upset and then finding the peace. I need the harmony within me. I cannot afford to run into you again.

The Last Straw

I have had enough. How stupid can I get? When will I learn my lesson? What will it take before I realise that I am not someone special to you? It has always been one way and it has never been more than that. I have put in so much. It will not lead to anything more, so I will not pursue this any further and any longer.

I thought it was nice seeing you again on Saturday. Now I realise that it has an underlying meaning. Many things have been revealed to me as of then.

Anyway, enough is enough now. I am now more determined to get you out of my system. I really cannot care anymore about you. I no longer bother about you anymore.

Seeing you again

It was nice seeing you again.
Though I barely saw you.
It was nice having your slight presence in my life once again.

I wish I could have talked to you that day.
I wish I could look at you in the eye.

If only I could see once more.

I miss you

I miss you. I want to give you a call, to find out how you are doing. To hear your caring voice at the end of the other line. I just want to see you for awhile. Pls let me just see you.

Conversation

Hi. How have you been?

Each time I see that you are online, it drives me nuts that I cant talk to you. I just want to see you. At least for awhile. i was looking forward to the meeting but now that that is not going to happen, my chances of "running" into you are dashed. I don't know if you have been invited and are coming to the farewell party.

I want to meet up with you. I want to end the time-out already. It is driving me insane. Yet at the same time, I tell myself that it is for the better and I calm myself down in the process. I feel like screaming and shouting it out. I miss you so much. I still do. I feel like time is crawling by in this aspect.

I want to see you soon. I miss you.

Yearning ...

I am yearning to give you a call
To hear your voice at the end of the line
I still miss you so much.

It feels like it has been eons since I last saw you
I just want to see you again
It is driving me insane inside.

I want to hear you
To see you
To feel cared by you.

I miss those days when we hung out tonnes
To have breakfast and dinner
I miss exploring new places with you.

I miss going swimming with you
I miss going jogging with you
I miss you.

As such, I know that it is still not time to meet up with you yet
I am disappointed
I wish that time will fly by.

I miss you
I miss you so much.