Enough is enough

Sometimes I wonder
Why do I even care so much? Why do I even bother?
It hurts and is so painful to be caring to this extent.

Enough is enough. Just let go already.

What ever happens from here on … I will no longer care. I will no longer bother. Too much energy is wasted.

It hurts … it truly hurts …

Walking away

A part of me wants to walk away from it all
To not even try for fear of failing
For fear of the unknown
For fear that I will not be able to make it.

For fear that it will be too difficult
For fear that after trying, I am still of mediocre standard
Why am I not a born natural
Why is it tough for me?

I don't know what the signs mean
Am I ignoring the signs that I am not meant for this
There have been a few signals
Are there worth considering?

Should I walk away now
When it is now more manageable
Argh ....

Please show me the way

I wish ...

I wish ...

That the past never ended
That the past continued on to the present and then on to the future
That you're by my side
That you're next to me

I long ...

For those days when we had just spent much time together
For those days when we had breakfast together
For those days when we were close

I yearn ...

For you to be next to me
For you to be with me each step of the way
For you to miss me

I still miss you. It is painful and tough at times when life moves on without you in my life. I am still finding it tough to imagine my life without you in it. Sometimes I do not know what I am doing anymore. I feel like I am going back into the spiral. I just miss having you around. I am keeping myself busy with other things but it is still painful.

1771554