Inner peace

I have yet to find my inner peace. Perhaps it is because I have yet to accept that I had feelings for you previously. As such, it has been difficult nowadays as I need to put up a front. I need to guard my heart more carefully nowadays such that I don't get hurt.

Will I ever stop being angry?

If one were to look into my eyes nowadays, they are empty, just like my soul. I don't know why I am doing what I am doing. My heart is no longer here.

Should I tender my resignation? If yes, where do I go to?

I need to make a decision soon, before mid June, before I need to commit 9 months.

I wonder if you already know. What are your thoughts? How do you feel? Alas, I know that I can not talk to you about this as you will not share with me, just like how you chose to talk to someone else, rather than me about how to go about making your decision.

Upsetting

Was really upset with you today. It was completely unreasonable.

Was really hurt by what you'd suggested that day.

Doing other things

I need to do other things out of work.

Option 1: Evolve MMA
Option 2: AMORE Fitness
Option 3: Fitness First
Option 4: Chocolate class in the east
Option 5: Ice-cream class in the east
Option 6: Cycling club
Option 7: Kayaking

I need to get my life back in order.

Need to also plan for a trip at the end of the year. It will be nice to go to Vancouver, New York and Abu Dhabi ! :)

GLEE - Get it right

Love this song from GLEE. Almost cried at the end of it.

From GLEE:
What have I done? I wish I could run
Away from this ship goin' under
Just tryin' to help, hurt everyone else
Now I feel the weight of the world is
On my shoulders
What can you do when your good isn't good enough?
When all that you touch tumbles down?
'Cause my best intentions keep making a mess of things
I just wanna fix it somehow
But how many times will it take?
Oh, how many times will it take for me?
To get it right
To get it ri-igh-ight
Can I start again with my faith shaken?
'Cause I can't go back and undo this
I just have to stay and face my mistakes
But if I get stronger and wiser
I'll get through this
What can you do when your good isn't good enough?
When all that you touch tumbles down?
'Cause my best intentions keep making a mess of things
I just wanna fix it somehow
But how many times will it take?
Oh, how many times will it take for me?
To get it right
So I throw up my fist
Throw a punch in the air
And accept the truth that sometimes life isn't fair
Yeah, I'll send down a wish
Yeah, I'll send up a prayer
And finally, someone will see
How much I care!
What can you do when your good isn't good enough?
When all that you touch tumbles down?
'Cause my best intentions keep making a mess of things
I just wanna fix it somehow
But how many it times will it take?
Oh, how many times will it take for me?
To get it right
To get it ri-igh-ight

Reflection

Am I happy doing what I'm doing? Is this what I truly want?

I remembered being happy in the past. What true happiness really means. I don't know if I can continue.

I still wonder why that had happened. Did I accidentally delete you? Or maybe u'd wanted to delete me? If yes, what is the reason?

Wonder why

I wonder why you are no longer a friend on my FB. I don't remember removing you. Did I offend you or something? I feel like asking you why, yet I also feel stupid for asking why. Do I really care or is it my ego talking?

I don't know.

Break

After taking a break, I still dread going to work. I am concerned as to what this means. Previously, after a break of even a short while, I feel refreshed and ready to take on new challenges.

Now, I dread going back to work as I have to deal with the many crappy issues. I am slightly excited by some prospects but I dread the majority. I cannot imagine having to deal with the roster again and ensuring all is fair. I am tired of that. I don't know how to recharge myself.

I don't know why I am still doing this. Should I tender my resignation?