Time

Time has zoomed by so quickly. I didn't even realise that I've yet to have a post since March and March is almost ending now. I've been so busy with the set-up of the new place. A part of me is looking forward to it. Another part is tired and just wants to take a break. I don't know.

I had also seen you at a mutual friend's wedding. I knew that you were going to be there. I'm glad all the questions that I have about you are answered.
1) Are you seeing someone? Yes. And there is even a engagement or wedding ring I heard. I recognized the guy based on the photos that I've seen so far.
2) What are you doing at your new place? I had my suspicion when I saw that your newly added whom is also my friend. I thought that it may be through church work. However when I'd met up with another friend and mentioned that she'd seen you having lunch with this other person, my suspicion got even stronger. My suspicions were confirmed at the mutual friend's wedding. When I heard it, it was a complete slap in my face. Really. When I'd thought about the conversations that we'd had recently and there was not even any slightest hint that you were exploring other possibilities. Now that I know what you're doing in this new place, all the more I am hurt. For you to not have shared the slightest bit at all, I feel really stupid. And I used to think that I'd meant something or at least a little bit to you. I can understand a little better if you are doing something else. However to know the reality, it hurts. It really hurts. I am really tired. I am so glad that I did not even acknowledge your presence as I didn't know how to face you. It felt weird. I don't think it's because of the guy next to you. It was something else. Yes, I am angry and I see through you. Someone mentioned that you didn't look too happy. I don't really care as it is not my problem anymore. Really ... when I think of the past, I feel damn used.

It has ended. I feel that I am going to lose her as I will no longer work closely with her. She will move on to another section. I can feel that things are changing and will change. Maybe she wants to keep a distance from me. I don't know. I am upset with quite a few things related to her recently. I don't know. I know that she will be difficult to handle and I don't look forward to it sometimes. To always be fighting so strongly. I have to justify like crazy. I don't know. I need to be more formal. Otherwise, it will not work. It feels strange.