Sunday, September 19, 2010

The past is happening again

When I'd called her that night to let her know, my feelings were stirred again. When I'd asked her how she was and if she was ok, I realised that it's how I'd spoken to you as well. When another colleague came back that day and I saw how she'd immediately gone to her, I was really upset. Sometimes I wonder if I am ever effective. I was once close to her.

What had happened?
Had I changed that much?
Was I blind to her thoughts and feelings?

I wish I could get away from it all. I wish I could just cry and get over it. It is painful to feel this way. I have numb my feelings for too long already. I don't know why numbing my feelings was the answer at that time. They are coming up now. I need to avoid her which should not be too difficult.

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