Flood

It's now half a month into the new year. How time flies! I am not sure. At times, it feels like time has zoomed by. At times, it also feels like each second is slowly ticking by.

Of late, memories of the past have been flooding my mind. The old feelings have returned once more. What triggered this? I thought I am completely over it. What happened? Was it the push when we were jogging? Was it when certain things were mentioned? Did everything accummulate? Of late, work issues have surfaced so fast that I can hardly breathe. The trigger occured and the flood gates opened.

What is the difference between suppression and control? Right now, I feel like I am in a surreal mode. I am dazed. I want to move on but I am stuck once more. Have I been suppressing all this while?

Right now, I don't feel anything. Have I become numb? I still feel the pain at times when I sit down and reflect or when I just miss you. It hurts that I miss having you around, it hurts that you mean so much more to me than I will ever mean to you. It still hurts.

So much for starting the new year on a good note.