Anger

26th Feb 2009

I am angry!! I am angry!! I am angry!!! I am too tired to be angry. The same questions and emotions are evoked. I feel anger, hurt and pain after the initial short-lived elation. I blame you for the mess I am in. I wish I can control my feelings but I can’t. I can’t help the way I feel. Why did you have to re-appear in my life like that? Why did you sound so endearing over the phone? Why couldn’t you have remained someone who has been cold to me since? By sending me the roses and chocs, is this enough? It has been proven time and again that you will only do things that you deem fit. I still remember what you said to me. Perhaps you are now apologizing for that. Is that enough?

I feel like screaming in your face and to tell you to just leave me alone. The irony is that I want to see you so badly now. It hurts. It freaking hurts. I just wish that the tears would come and then I can move on. I don’t know why I am holding back.

I feel like screaming at you that the next time you want to apologize, just don’t re-appear in my life ever again !!

I hate you !! I hate you !! I hate you !!

Why do I get so emotional with you? I have spent 2 years of my life “with” you. I don’t know how long it will take for me to get over you.

I am tired of spending my time, energy and emotions on you. Please just leave me alone.

I know that all that you did was to send me the roses and chocs. I had persisted with the smses and calls. Please just never ever contact me again. Not in any way. Maybe in ten years’ time I will be fine.