Expectations

It has been a rough start to the week. I did not meet certain expectations and I felt like crap. I always feel that I am not doing enough and push myself harder. In the midst of it all, I broke down. It made me realize that it has been really tough. I no longer find joy. I know the source of the pain. I have actually typed out the letter. I don't know if I have what it takes to see it through. A part of me tells me to hang on and ride it out. Then think about it. Then decide. Another part of me tells me to just submit the letter in August. I don't know. Seeing how things are going, I don't know if I have what it takes anymore to keep on going. I am really really tired.