Adding as a friend

A part of me wants to add you as a friend. I am hoping that when I do that, maybe you will see that as a signal that I am okay. I don't know. I am hoping that maybe if I do that, you will let me know when we can meet up to catch up.

Why is it that I want the friendship so badly? Is it even a friendship? Maybe things are so messed up and I don't want to handle work anymore that I just don't care.

Is it pathetic that I have left the door open and you have yet to step up to the door? Or is it pathetic that each day I am hoping and wondering when you will come by? I know it's the latter but nothing else comes to my mind right now.

I don't know what I am doing with my career. Is this what I want? Really? Is this what I am passionate about or am I just kidding myself?

ARGH !!!

I don't know if I will regret clicking 2x. My inner voice tells me that yes, I will regret it. Another part of me tells me that I have got nothing to lose.

I feel like breaking down ... I don't know if it's stress from work or stress from the silence.