When I see that you are online, my immediate reaction is that of happiness. I immediately went "Ohh .. you're online! Yay! :)" Then I remember that I am distancing myself from you. Sometimes I wonder when is it that I will get over you completely. I hate going home immediately after work. I have always enjoyed spending time with you. We have gone to so many places that I now have many places to avoid.
I need to find the delete button to the past soon. To delete the wonderful memories. Yes, they were wonderful but they can only be memories at best. I have to let them go. It is painful when something good is the opposite. Such ironies.
I am yearning to go for dinner with you. It is just driving me crazy.
I know I have many things to be grateful for. At least you're still alive and kicking. I just wish the past is now. I am being so torn apart between the heart and the head. When work ends and I head home, that's when I yearn for the past. I know I can choose to completely bury myself at work but I need to find other options. ARGH!! It's just driving me crazy!!!! Argh!!!
Here I am, undergoing unnecessary turmoil and you're happily sailing about with life.
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