Have yet to get up

How irritating can this get? I had attempted to go jogging this evening. The weather was marvellous. However I just could not focus and I could not complete it. It was an extremely feeble attempt. I am upset with myself. I only remembered thinking to myself how much I just did not want to do it.

I don't want to jog. I don't want to do this anymore. I just want to quit. i want to quit.

I had imagined tendering my resignation.

I need and I want to stop living in regrets. I remembered what was told to me. To stop living in regrets, one must be open to possibilities.

I remembered the MSN encounter. You'd just sent an emoticon and I'd replied with so many things. Looking back, it had been like that more often than not. I need to remember the pain and the lows and the efforts that I'd put in to get out of the cycle. I need to remember the peace and quiet internally. Right now, I can only remember the happiness.

I remembered the elation when you'd sent me that emoticon on MSN. It was endearing touch to me. I remembered grinning like an idiot. My thoughts then raced very very quickly, like you were going to ask me to dinner and all that. Alas it didn't happen. The happiness had been shortlived. I need to remember that. I need to remember why I am doing this. Such happiness cannot last forever.

I WANT TO GET OUT OF THIS PHASE !!!! ARGH !!!