Tough ones

It is interesting that both of you have the same surnames. Why do I always choose the tough ones? Am I out to prove myself that I am only good at failing? All that my dear friend had said last night was all true. All true. I will not give up on a tough challenge. After all, I knew that you were a tough nut to crack. I was determined to decode you at all costs. I went all the way. And I got hurt in the end due to the emotional entanglement. I remembered telling myself that if I can't have something, all the more I want it and will do anything to get it. Right now, I feel like I don't want it. I want to give up.

I know that there are many layers to this one too. I don't know if it's more or less than you. To unpeel the layers, it will take effort. The immediate thoughts that come to mind is that when I'd tried to understand you, I remembered the journey and I remember the pain as though it was only yesterday. I still feel the pain and remember it so vividly. It still freaking HURTS!!!!

I feel like walking away from everything right now. Maybe walking will not suffice. I need to RUN AWAY !