I've really tried

I've really tried but memories of the past do pop up out of the blue. I was caught off guard when the tears came the morning after the wedding and when the happy memories came flooding back just like that. I'd thought that I'd completely forgotten about them or at least I'd moved along fine that such memories will remain as memories without evoking any emotions in me at all. I never thought that it would still have such an effect on me.

I must have been highly emotionally involved with you. The times that I'd spent with you. I cared about you too much. I wish I could see you again for one last time before I truly say goodbye as I really don't think we can be friends. I have tried. Really tried. Given my recent attempts with the presentations and the outcomes that I'd gotten and how work has kept me so busy, I am stunned that the wedding had evoked such a response from me. When the groom immediately recognized his bride's hands, even though blind-folded, and when he didnt want to let go, I was moved to tears. This is how I feel about you. I don't want to let you go. I never thought that I still miss you so much. As I'd not seen you for so long already and I've not had meetings at your place and there was no way of "running into you, I truly thought that I'd gotten over you. I thought that the absence will do me good and that the trigger has been removed.

Perhaps I have gotten over you, slightly, but not completely. I guess I also need to accept that I will have such emotions and the happy memories with you will come flooding once a certain trigger has been released.

I need to delete the connection.

On a good note, I think this means that 09 has not replaced you.