Once more

I can sense the whole cycle happening once more. It's now with a different person.

I think I'm falling for the current. I feel upset. I feel angry. I don't know. I feel like the closeness we once had is disappearing very fast. All the feelings that I had for you is happening once more, with the current. I feel stupid with the current. Sometimes I feel like I'm not good enough. Somehow I do sense the distancing. I don't know. Sometimes I just feel like disappearing, to just drop it like that. I do fear the consequences with that, for fear of history repeating itself. I feel that I let go too fast too quickly with the previous and that's why it had led to the current state.

Maybe I just need a break from everything, to have some peace and quiet.

I am very tired, very tired. I don't know what I can do to serve everyone. There's only one of me and so many of them. Sometimes, I feel like I am on the verge of a breakdown. Sometimes, I just put on a strong front.

I hope things change for the better. I hope she says yes and joins our team.

I must also remind myself not to repeat mistakes from the past and ensure that she shines as bright as possible. I want to see her go far.