Still odd

When I saw your good friend just now, I was a little surprised. I thought I had seen someone that looked like her but I just caught a glimpse so I was not too sure. When I saw your friend at the lobby, it still took me awhile to recognize your friend. When I saw your friend and you were not next to this friend, I was glad. A part of me froze in my tracks but a part of me also told me to keep moving. I am really glad that you were not there. Had you been there, I would have been so upset. When I heard from someone that your friend's ear drum had ruptured whilst diving, I wonder if you had gone diving with her. I know you were supposed to take leave sometime these couple of weeks but I am not sure. I am surprised that she had ruptured her ear drum as if she'd gone with our instructor, she'd have been taught well. My next immediate thought is whether you had gone with her. Sigh. I am sure you had shared special moments with her. A part of me is finding it tough to move on but a part of me also tells me to keep moving and I am moving. I am in such a contradictory state right now.