Getting better

I feel like I am getting better. When I used to see you online, my heart will beat at least 10,000 beats. Now it is beating on 100 beats. I will and want to get the state whereby it beats 0 beats. Maybe deleting you from the MSN list has helped a great deal. It is almost as though I am cutting you out of my life. I remember that each time I log in, I will wonder if you are online. When I see you online, I get all excited. I will then reminisce about the wonderful past. Then I will wonder if you will talk to me. Cutting you off has been good.